Thing that will help you Lose!

This page is full of tips of what not to do. These are based on things either myself, my teammates or people I have played against have done that gave them the best chance to lose.


1. Be lazy

2. Get so pissed off that you are more concerned with killing someone than playing well

3. Play in weather that football players wouldn't want to play in..

4. Get a bad case of "itchy belly"

5. Run out of gatorade

6. Talk about losing every game if you lose the first one

7. Pass the ball backwards with precision

8. Crush the ball with all of your strength........into the net

9. Know the dink is coming, see the dink coming and not getting the dink

10. Lift weights shortly before playing so you are stiff, immobile and tired.......before you even start playing

11. Have a rockin gig the night before a tournament and get no sleep

12. Think about why are you doing this anyway?

13. Finish your net real early so you can wait half the day to play again

14. Pass the ball like you were playing sixes

15. Play on a 6" low net

16. If you get blocked do the same thing next time but harder (so the ball bounces back at you faster)

17. Assume you will beat a team

18. Assume your partner will give you a perfect set or pass

19. Play like you are on cold medicine

20. Wear so many pads, braces, sweatbands, supports and hats that you can't see or move.

21. Hop around before you are ready to pass a ball or dig a hit

22. Practice the 31 foot hit shot

23. Play with people who suck

24. Get all of your practice time at family or company picnics

25. Be scared of getting hit by the ball

26. Play 3 times during the week and once on the weekend so you get real sick of it

27. Play with a ball that is so deflated that it feels like you are playing with the official Nerf volleyball

28. Play with a ball so overpumped that it when you drop it, it bounces higher than where it started

29. Play with people who annoy you

30.  Concentrate on your straight down hit even though you get the opportunity to perform it once every 200 sets.

31. Get real drunk and then try to play (very amusing to watch)

32. Be happy if you just get 8 points on a team

33. Consistently throw up a block on an opponent yet never touch a ball

34. Be 5 feet tall

35. Have frequent collisions with your teammates, ones that make the crowd go "ooohhhhhhh!!!"

36. Get tired after the first 5 points of the first match of the day.

37. Have your partner give you the perfect set only to not jump at it and flail weakly into the net.

38.  Tread on your partner's head as you try to get to a set.

39. Extend the olive branch to a team only for them to snap it over their knee as they turn into instant a-holes.

40. Fight to get the last game of pool play against the other undefeated team in the pool, only to lose 11-0 in 5 minutes or less.

41. Refuse to get ready for an oncoming ball until it crosses over onto your side of the net

42. Play in 90 degree 90% humidity weather.

43. Have bad knees

44. Prepare for playing doubles in deep sand by practicing indoor 6's

45. Vomit during breaks in the action